day #70 only 295 to go...

The problem with my addiction to predictions is that if I write about it then I think about it. If I don't write about it I might not think about it. What, you aren't buying that? Neither am I. 

I have been busy surviving the end of the world (which has been postponed until October) and attempting to date without wondering where it will lead. My attempts have failed as I sat trying to listen to what he was saying but I was either wondering if he's 'the One' or thinking about my last ex. It just wasn't working so I put my date into the 'friend zone' = 'safe zone' then passed him off on a girlfriend letting her know it was chemistry free for me. She said thanks.

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While cleaning my desk, I came across that tarot reading from January (prior to this project). Instead of quickly wadding it up and tossing it into the rubbish I read it. The first card was 'The Fool' which I wrote about a few entries back. I thought about how her answers could have been generic but what about saying there was a contract that needed to be signed by me. At that time I still had not wired my "S"ex's money. I was not ready to let go. Could she see that in my eyes? How did she know? Maybe she guessed my age = average for divorce. 

She commented that I was taking my problems to bed. Doesn't everyone? Probably the dark rings under my eyes or maybe it was the glazed look I had because I had just finished a 9.5hr shift. 

I'm at the door of a new life that leads to financial success. Has a reader ever told anyone they would be broke?

I have a man coming into my life but she wasn't sure for how long. I am single so that's a no brainer. Guess that one came true, he's in the friend zone.

There's a man who's controlling, manipulative and not letting me move on. I'm sure she saw a glint of sadness when she asked if I was in a relationship prior to the reading. Generally, I'm a bit hard to read emotionally but a person keen on body language, etc. can pick up subtle changes. 

Finally, my life will be wonderful. Again, don't they always say that? Oh wait there was that one years ago in Milwaukee who told me if I married and had kids with the guy I was dating at the time I would end up resentful because he's a workaholic (true). Spot on, lady.

The January reading has officially been tossed into the bin because burning it is a fire hazard though a cute fireman might show up. Ahhh, now if I can just toss out the bag of chips (I ate all of the Haagen Dazs).

I'm feeling better already... 

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Two days ago I received an email from my mother offering me a free astrological reading with a reputable astrologer who was giving a seminar. My addiction immediately told me that it was a sign and that my 365 day attempt at sobriety is ridiculous and holding me back from knowing so many wonderful things. I declined. My mom knows nothing of this project. It is her belief system that she raised me on and though I am a mature, intelligent, independent woman who can think for herself I sometimes want to blame it on my mom. 

All week I've picked up A New Earth to snap my brain back into the moment at hand but with the Bachelorette on the road to romance my dreams of happily ever are alive and well. Go, Ashley, go!

If I knew what my life was going to do wouldn't I be bored? Would I avoid pain that I consider unnecessary? OUCH that rose hurt!