369 days ago I had hopes of a romantic future though it was at the time a bit uncertain due to the lack of enthusiasm by the other party. It threw me into obsessive readings which for the most part raised my highs when they appeared to be hopeful and took me to dark places when they looked hopeless. Up and down I went until 145 days ago when I admitted to myself that I'm addicted to predictions and started this journey.
Some days are hard and others I don't give it any thought. Today is a hard one.
Doesn't Life always work out one way or the other?
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This is where the struggle between 'fate and destiny' vs. 'free will' is for me. I might never sort that out in my head so throwing my hands up and letting go is really my only option. Just as Spartacus did in the season finale as he and his fellow slaves freed themselves of their masters by killing them all. He did not throw his hands up and give up he took change upon himself by following his inner truth, standing up for what he felt was right and just.
Do my actions create a chain of events? Or was my destiny set long ago? These questions have been asked since the beginning of time and have created a multi-zillion dollar spiritual industry. Thank goodness for the free sites especially in this economy.
So, on day #145, I feel the anger and disappointment of my experience. My birthday just passed and I wonder what my future is as a next year of my life starts offers me new experiences to embrace and a pair of jeans that are going to fit.
Thank you for your support...
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