day #25 only 340 more to go...

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If there was ever a day I could use a reading, today is the day.

I found myself on facebook which created self-inflicted sadness. What did I think I would find? Don't make me openly confess as to where the mouse's curiosity went and what was openly revealed. 

After the internet torture I skipped the makeup, slipped on the Kaenons to hide my red eyes and headed out the door. After shipping bday gifts (giving usually makes me feel better) I headed to the beach to surf knowing it would help wash away the sadness. 

My expectations were not fulfilled. The water was murky, I'm having girly stuff today and in my rules of surfing the two do not mix. I dug my feet into the sand, watched the families and a few surfers. All the while trying to apply anything at all I've learned from Eckhart Tolle.

Now that I'm back at the computer with so many free readings available I decided to do something more healthy and made an acupuncture appointment for this evening. There, my addiction is not controlling me at least not right Now. 

To keep occupied I sorted through the giant pile of papers on the desk and discovered my notes from 6 months before I started this journey to free myself.

Sitting on the beach watching the sunset I told my friend, "spiritual stuff is making me crazy and I want to get a psychic reading."

"Commit to a year of abstinence it's cheaper" she suggested.

"How can I do that? When I'm freaking out who do I talk to? What do I do to break the cycle?" I demanded of her.

"Why not write about it" she replied in a matter of fact tone.

I think it has been the best advice I've ever gotten. Yes, I sent her an email today telling her of my frantic need for love, a reading and answers to the unknown because as you can see she gives great advice.

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It's time to step away from the keyboard and I'm grateful there isn't any Ben & Jerry's in the freezer.

Thank you for your support...