day #35 (whew, it's been a month) 330 more to go...

#16 source

I've been postponing this entry because I am embarrassed to admit that my addiction took over and on the 10th I couldn't stop the free iching reading. I tried so hard but it's like putting away the pint of ice cream after just a few bites. It's just too hard to close the lid.

I really, really tried but I don't have a sponsor to call so it was me vs. the free reading. The power of the internet is incredible.

Did it tell me about my future being bright and wonderful? The present isn't so great so the future was on my mind though I know the iching doesn't like to speak of the future. It started out telling me that I've been met with Approval/Enthusiasm but it didn't tell me sh*t about if he still cares. Obviously, he doesn't since we aren't together. Why do I care anyway? I've been out on a few dates with a guy who described himself as 'stable'. Every girl's dream, right?

I know it's ridiculous that me, a grown woman, wants the love of a man who said he doesn't want to date. I should be more concerned about the jeans I can't fit into since the break up. Hey, why didn't my friends tell me I was getting fat?

Maybe the moving lines of #16 would give me a glimmer of hope:

Line 6 "Give Approval and You Will Get It" - Seeking approval from someone incapable of giving it will lead to misfortune. Do not become obsessed with the wrong approach. A reversal of goals or a shifting of priorities is recommended at this time. Give approval and you will get it.

Line 6 stung a bit because I am still running down the road towards misfortune and know it. 

But, wait there's a future hexagram and it has uplifted me just a bit. I like a good journey and am a bit of a wanderer. 

source

#56 Path of Love/Wanderer

This hexagram indicates a powerful journey of discovery has started. The veils are lifting and you are beginning to see the spiritual meaning of relationships and love. A relationship is a union of souls, designed to teach you unconditional love. You are on your path toward higher love and inner transformation, but this is not a path for the meek or the self-deceptive. This is a time to be strong, sincere, open-hearted, and honest with yourself. Keep your focus right where you are. Wandering over mountain tops, the wise person sees each step as a gift and each person they encounter as a blessing. Keep your balance. Don't follow anything but your own knowing. Let your heart be your guide. Stay focused.

Will I revert to my old ways again? I sure hope not since I almost made it a month. Instead of beating myself up I forgave myself for not being able to zip up my jeans.

I went on a couple of dates recently but that's another story...